Awkward situations...

Background: Due to financial reasons, my brother works in the Free State during the week, and only returns home to GP on a Friday evening to spend his time with his wife and children (she’s employed here). Anyhows, a week or so ago, they attempted a break-in at their house whilst she was home alone with the kids, fortunately, the neighbours were alerted and managed to chase them off. But its a worry.

So Saturday morning around 7:30am my brother phones me, he had a work function on the Friday night and was only then leaving to come to J’burg, however, he cannot get hold of his wife, the phone just rings and he is frantic, would I mind just dropping by the house to go check if she is ok?

I jump in the car and take a dash through to the house, and I find it tightly locked up and no answer on ringing the bell at the gate. So like a true soldier I scale the wall (I was VERY proud of myself in being able to). As I leap down though, I get my first inkling of something “not quite right” here. A strange car parked quite out of sight in the far corner of the garden.

Never mind, task at hand is to raise the sister in law from her (hopefully) deep slumber. I knock on the front door, no answer, I knock on the kids bedroom windows, no answer, I eventually climb over another little wall dividing the front and back yards, and find myself by her bedroom window, I knock and holler (and honestly people, I was LOUD), and I get no answer whatsoever. I then did what any self respecting, (semi) concerned sister-in-law would do… I pulled open the window and pulled the curtains away.

As the saying goes though - what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

Turns out she’s been having this glorious affair with a 26 year old chappie from Klerksdorp. (She’s in her early 40’s)

Awkward, never mind all the other issues thats now up for discussion. Its not going to be an image that I’ll be able to discard from my mind in a hurry. :-[

Allow me to say…


On second thought, I’ll contribute a story too.

Someone I know well recently got the comment “but your second child doesn’t look like you”… So he silently took the kid for a paternity test. And discovered, of course, it wasn’t his.

Ouch. Marriage in the crapper and he has to deal with the fact that the child he has been bonding with, isn’t his. Very awkward.

o fok.
what’s the plan of action. are you going to tell him, or is she going to own up?

She owned up. I did phone him and he sort of suspected it, just didnt have any proof. He came home and they had a chat, she told him that she’d like to divorce “wants her freedom”. Which is fine, best she goes with the young chap and have her share of the hormonal freedom she so craves. Whether he’s going to be so keen to have her full-time in his life remains to be seen >:D

Its life, shit happens and its usually smelly and quite nasty. By the way, also a very religious tannie with a bible on her bedside. Sure she cried out to god on more than… wait, let that image hang there while I go find something to rinse my mouth out with… :stuck_out_tongue:

i hope you intend to ride the religious hipocracy bullshit with her to the max. make her feel so kak, and tell her how hard she is going to burn in hell.
how’s your boet taking it?

He’s a bit devastated. Well, a tad more than that actually, she didnt even bother to clear out the remnants of the mess she made the previous night, left the booze bottles, the flowers, the candles and rose petals in the bathroom - get the picture? No man (or woman) is a rock, and she’s treating him worse than dirt, granted he’s not a perfect man, and prone to have a drink or two too many on occassion, but he’s never treated her badly and certainly dont deserve this type of treatment.

I wont bother even conversing with her, she was at our home yesterday and I left her at the gate ringing the bell and calling for me - I was busy yanking up the carpets in the entrance hall and she could see me clearly, but I was busy with more important things.

She did tell my brother that she also dont want the kids - which suits everybody involved just fine - considering they’ve been almost living with me for the last three weeks or so (and now we know why).

I dont have much time for shit.

what?! what kind of woman is this? but, i bet you money, this okie she is pomping now, will get cold feet the moment she wants to shack up with him, then she will be alone, and want hubbie back. he must make sure to have her sign some kind of documentation saying that she gives up her rights as a parent, otherwise, once the hormones have worn off, she will want her kids back. and that will just become a huge hoo-ha.
now, im not maternal in any shape of form, but she must be a horrible person to go bananas in her husband’s home, flowers and rose-petals and the nines, AND not want her kids. i mean WTF?

Crap, don’t you just HATE it when they do that? Its almost like they don’t want you to make any money.::slight_smile:


Well, gosh, this is too good not to share. This is an email from my brother’s wife’s ex-best-friend to the whole world - including her boss, some of her colleagues, all the mutual friends and family as well as the boyfriend in question - a list of about 15 people in total. Read and enjoy:

Well gosh, I am not surprised you have had such a hectic weekend considering what you are going through, you poor thing. Dumping your husband AND your two children for a 26-year old ex-Kroonstad work colleague so that you can party all the time and have a jol is such hard work isn’t it? My heart positively bleeds for you. And it is so difficult coping with such hardships that your new loverboy sneaks into the house – Marius’ home – and into your marriage bed - to help you get through it, while your husband lives alone in a poky one-bedroom box in Kroonstad, pinching pennies and doing his best to arrange a transfer back to Jhb to be with his family. And you still have the barefaced cheek to make love to him when he comes home on the weekend meanwhile you’ve been screwing someone else on the sly! Absolutely filthy and disgusting behaviour. But you’re a clever girl, I am sure you have managed to explain all the bad stuff away and justify what you are doing.

Nicolene, I cannot believe that you have been so dumb, silly and stupid!! Filing for a divorce because you are bored with your married life and because your husband doesn’t party and have money – what dumbass kind of reason is that? Then you have the stupidity – yes- stupidity – to try foisting the blame onto Marius for what is happening, saying that it’s because he has no money??!! It is childish and immature to the extreme, and coming from someone who has two children to look after as well – and you don’t care about them either, which we all have seen for ourselves over the past 8 years, well, that takes the cake. But that’s not all folks. It gets better. After the fact, after Marius tells you Mr A is not allowed on the property – and Marius has every right to demand that – you are even stupider and ask Marius if Mr A can come and stay for the weekend!! Jesus wept! Your utter self-absorption and selfishness is unbelievable. You don’t even care what your children must think and feel about what you are doing. But of course they are so young and trusting. Telling them to lie to their father and that they are not to tell Marius that Mr A has come through during the week to take you out to dinner, etc. You are an embarrassment.

When you went out of your way to get snotflying drunk on December 27th at my house so that you could blab about Mr A and how young he made you feel and how boring and old Marius was, I warned you not to do anything stupid and if you DID do something stupid, I would cut you out of our lives, no matter how long we had been friends. Because I am a firm believer in honouring marriage vows and adultery was NOT on, EVER! I even suggested that you make an effort to spice up your marriage life instead of going gaga over someone else just because he makes you feel good, because you were insistent that you still loved Marius very much. You denied any further involvement other than being friends. Unfortunately I was a loyal friend and dumb, because I actually believed you! and did not reveal your “secret”, and god knows I am so sorry I did that. Well, you of course were lying through your teeth, weren’t you my fine “friend”? You were already involved with Mr A. So involved that he came and “helped you out” at work on the weekend end of February, didn’t he? What kind of “help” was it? Spread out on the boss’s desk? Yes, I am being blunt because that is who I have always been and you deserve every word I am saying to you in this letter.

Marius is the nicest, kindest person I have ever met and come to know. He has deep integrity and moral fibre, a characteristic which is clearly lacking in your make up. He has loved you deeply throughout your marriage and all the trials and tribulation that you have both been through. Marius has always had a deep respect for anyone and everyone. You have none whatsoever. The only things that you seem to care for and rate more important first and foremost is yourself, followed by Fun and Money. You have always been full of beans and a go-getter, with ambition to improve yourself and get on in life. There is nothing wrong with those traits, but if you trample on your own children and husband for the sake of being able to party and splash money around and stay young, then you are going to come short somewhere down the line.

And how dare you preach God and Christianity at me when you are breaking the very commandments in the bible that you supposedly revere so much? How can you sit at that board table at your workplace, with all those nice, good God-fearing folks every morning at work and pray, while at the back of your mind all you are thinking of is your adulterous lovelife and how you can get away to see him, and set up clandestine sessions? Your hypocrisy is pathetic and laughable, Nicolene.

I don’t care if you don’t read all of this stuff, I know you have the attention span of a mosquito and don’t like it when I send you novels; this is actually more for my benefit than yours. After 8 years of being your friend, 8 years of sharing confidences and crying on each other’s shoulders, having good parties together at each other’s houses and being there for each other – you come out at the end of it blackened, tarnished and looking extremely silly. So leave, set yourself up with your pretty 26-year old Mr A – good luck Mr A, you’re going to need it. Enjoy your parties and new nail varnishes and haircuts, enjoy setting up your new home. And look at your vapid, vacuous face in the mirror every morning when you get up and pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how clever and smart you were, running away from it all because the going got too tough. And check the calendar every day and see how long your joyride is going to last. Because at the end of it all you ARE going to get older, your money will run out, you WILL end up on your own, and this “victory” that you are claiming will be nothing but ashes and putrefaction in your mouth. You can run away from your past and your responsibilities Nicolene, but it will follow you wherever you go, whatever you do. Enjoy it chickie, you so deserve what’s coming to you.

As for Mr A, I acquit of him of nothing he has no excuse other than – perhaps – mutual stupidity – he must be so blinded to what the moral ramifications are. Good luck buddy. You must feel so proud of what you have won – secondhand goods with a brain the size of a pinhead and the morals of an alley cat.

10 points for her!!! a good read.

OK this is a very late response but I wouldn’t have replied if it wasn’t for me sitting here bored out of my skull (work is sooo boring these days) and doing some wandering around on the 'net. I came across this particular topic and got the shock of my life. And LMFAO beeg time. I R the author of the perfidiouis e-mail sent to the cheating dumba*s and now wonderfully ex-friend of mine, dear Nicolene. Stupid git deserved every word of that epistle and I think she may still be studying the dictionary to translate some of the words I used. Nah. She’s filed it and was at one stage apparently threatening to sue me. I’m still waiting for the lawyer’s letter so I can stick it up on my toilet wall and admire it every time I use the loo.

Latest ondit is that - according to the 26-yr old dweeb who’s highest achievement thus far in his spotty post-adolescent career is leaping out of a helicopter - wedding bells are jangling for him in the near future. Vom. deluxe. Miley Cyrus wannabe is trolling along at the moment in the mistaken belief that everything is going her way but us in the know are being patient bcos in the very near future, that is going to change dramatically. NOT in her favour. But what goes round comes round, not so? God was the convenient prop for that one, after serious partying (usually at our place) where - I confess - we DID behave badly but what the heck is the use of spoliing a good party by being good - then there’d be a flurry of visits to church, dragging family along with her; devout statements of laying off the evil spirits and threatening to become a Sunday School teacher. I was threatened countless times with Judgement Day etc. hence my rant in the mail about her nauseating quasi-religious claptrap. She loved bombarding me with 5mb long PPT slideshows of how God loves me and rainbows and the like, just bcos she knew it irritated me. I loathe having religion shoved down my throat all the time, ok? She would not allow her boys to eat a certain brand of 2-minute noodles bcos they are Satanistic… There’s an evil cross on the packaging, folks! And essential oils are wicked and perverted because if you are massaged with essential oils, you think evil thoughts! I bet she snorkels in the stuff every day now.

This is turning out to be a long message, sorry folks :slight_smile:

What sparked my ire and has kept the flames of anger burning through all of this, is the fact that her soon-to-ex-husband is genuinely the nicest, most gentle-natured guy I have ever come across. He loves his kids and would walk on hot coals for them. And he loved Nicolene too. So this has been quite a shocker all round. We are close friends, I consider him to be my brother, and the hurt and damage this stupid, dumb twit has caused to him and their 2 boys, is simply awful. It may be weird, but to this day I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that she really believes that living the life means wandering around shopping malls on weekends, jolling at Gold Reef City and gawking around The Carousel and the like with whatshisface, while she has summarily dumps her children on whoever she can find in order to have a good time. I still find myself wondering WTF does she have for a brain? If it wasn’t for their dad looking out for them every weekend when he comes to Jhb, the kids would never have their clothes washed and ironed, never have a proper square meal, never have any parental interraction. His folks - who are not in the best of health - do their utmost best to try and take care of the boys during the week and on weekends when dad can’t come through to Jhb, she pushes them on to the folks without compunction so she can go to Kroonstad to be with whatshisface. Or she takes them to Kroonstad and dumps them on her sister. The pets don’t get food, the kids feed them weetbix or pieces of bread. They eventually go to bed after 11pm at night while mummy stays in her room communicating with whatshisface via BBM or whatever it is she is using. Then they fall asleep in class at school. So, her day IS coming and I wait for it with unoly glee, bcos really, why must the baddies always win??

righteous kudos to you lady. well put. i hope that tart gets an interresting and yet undiscovered venerial disease. and i hope her (ex) husband fights tooth and nail to get the kids away from her. bitch.
who are the parties involved in kroonstad. was my crawl back in the day, i would looooove for it to be someone i know >:D

It is a well-written letter, worthy of publication on an Atheist forum!

Thanks for the encouragement - I’ll try not to fall off my modest soapbox. @GCG: Yes, soon-to-ex hubby is fighting with everything he has got, to get custody. And if Lady Luck is feeling benelovent and kind on the day in question - meaning we are all hoping that the Queen of Tarts doesn’t pitch up at court - he will gain sole custody. Long story short, court date is next week sometime, QOT doesn’t seem to know of the date but that cud be because letter was sent to her reg post and as she is being hounded by creditors it is highly probable that she fed the slip to the dustbin as she will be afraid to collect the letter in case she is being sued for money owed. So who knows? I have no sympathy for N after what she has done and is still doing, and I also ask myself sometimes: how well do we REALLY know our friends/spouses/relatives??

not at all Joan. i got married, and two months in, i had upgraded from bride to punching bag. you just never know. some people are incredibly adept at keeping a mask, or even a number of them, on for anyone interrested.

You’d have to be damn good to manage it for 16 years… which is how long they were married. Look, I always maintained that she is’nt a very clever girl, but I never considered her to be a lowlife stupid until now.

I’m pleased that this woman is being named and shamed, even by her friends like Joan(a). I think many families try to shove this stuff under the carpet and the culprits seem to not get the scorn they deserve.

I am not a Mother Grundy and sometimes I am accused of being too liberal. I do however have strong ethics and a moral code. I am married, I love my husband, and right from the beginning of our marriage I took my vows seriously. Cheating on your spouse is NOT ON, ever. I may cheat when playing cards especially when hubby is winning outrageously, but that’s different :slight_smile:

The email I sent to Nicolene on 16 March came about because I was so shocked, stunned and upset about what she had done that I fired off the e-mail straight away. I even called her the same day trying to get hold of her to find out what the hell was going on, and she stonewalled me, it was like speaking to a stranger. I haven’t seen or heard from her since our last get-together in early February. This was someone I thought was my close friend and confidante for 8 years! I realised after the heat of the moment that it was very dumb of me to cc all her workmates as it does lay me open for being sued for defamation etc. but I wasn’t thinking about that at the time. But damn it felt good. And I stick to my guns about what I said to her.

Why should Nicolene be allowed to get away with what she has done? Why must her hubby be dragged through the mud and her two sons too? All 3 of them are going to endure a lot of pain and other issues for some time after the divorce and will have to pick up the pieces of their lives as best they can. They are suffering mentally and emotionally because of her attitude and her behaviour. And through of all of the mess that she has created, she is at the moment cruising along happy in her new world she has set up with the new boyfriend; she has managed to sweep her past life: marriage, children - EVERYTHING - under the mat. She’s leaving everything to the hubby to sort out - divorce papers, sorting out the house, etc. because she’s too engrossed in partying with the 26-yr old. None of this means anything to her, all she is focused on is making plans for her forthcoming wedding (I kid you not) and there is even rumour of her wanting to fall pregnant soon! Ye gods.

I ask again - why should she be allowed to have everything her way, leaving behind a string of suffering and pain? I strongly believe it shouldn’t be allowed to happen, and too many folks keep quiet when they should be more vocal about being so badly mistreated.

What goes around comes around, and if your (supposed) best friend can’t tell you what an ass you are being, then who can?

So the divorce has been finalised, my brother got custody of the two boys and they’ll be moving schools end of October to live with their Dad. Their home is still on the market, there has been some interest but its a buyers market and I suspect the price isnt right. Financially, both parties have been ruined, considering she has’nt paid her share of the house and rates, and moved out of the house when the electricity got cut about a month ago. She also announced to the children that she is pregnant and delighted at the prospect of becoming a mommy again. I’m not sure what the boys think about this, but the psychologist sees them every Friday and we’ll find out soon enough. The eldest will be failing this year at school, he’s been taking it very badly and the youngest has suddenly become a cheeky sullen little boy. The joys of divorce.