D.I.Y. Nukes

I am thinking of signing up for the David Hahn Appreciation Society. For those of you ( if any ) who don’t know about David Hahn, he’s the kid who got a long way down the track at building a nuclear reactor in his mom’s garden shed in attempting to obtain a Scout merit badge in Atomic Energy. My kind of guy. Teen scientific enquiry at its best. But reactors are for pussies and teenagers ( NOT teen pussies though, you norty boy! ) really - a nice little H-Bomb would be uber-supa-kewl, don’t you agree?

Now, over the years I have been studying the method outlined at totse.com. Sadly the domain seems to have gone, but all the good stuff is still up here. I’d be interested to hear from any forum members who have tried this method as I do have a few questions:

  1. Can one easily get radioactive waste at Vaalputs? I mean, sneak in one night with a bakkie and a shovel, and maybe a winch.

  2. Is sex safe if your skin glows at night?

  3. Is it really safe to eat boerewors rolls when hand-decanting uranium hexaflouride solution into cheap plastic buckets? Or does the wors taste funny?

  4. Do you think one could sell these nukes for a nice profit? I mean, wouldn’t that other great Scottish African Leader Robert McGabe be interested?

  5. Are there any drums of nuclear waste still lying about at the Pelindaba rubbish dump?

  6. Are the following claimed ownership benefits for real ? -

Many families are attracted to the H-bomb simply as a 'deterrent'. A discrete sticker on the door or on the living room window saying 'This Home Protected by H-bomb' will discourage IRS investigators, census takers, and Jehovah's Witnesses. You'll be suprised how fast the crime rate will go down and property values will go up. And once the news gets out that you are a home H-bomb owner you'll find that you have unexpected leverage in neighborhood disputes over everything from parking places and stereo noise levels to school tax rates. So relax and enjoy the pride and excitement of home H-bomb ownership!


Yes on all counts, provided you’ve the chemical constitution and density of lead…


Wooo Hooo does that mean we could then remove and exchange the “Beware of the Snake’s" signs from house doors, windows, gates and car windows? ;D

[b]THE SNAKE BOX:[/b] This method involves getting two snake cages, putting a rattlesnake in one with the lid closed, and leaving the other cage open. The snake cages are placed by a window so the would-be burglar can see them. Few burglars will risk discovering where the other snake is. Some snake-owning homeowners go so far as to put signs on their property such as "Jones Snake Farm".