Judgement Day

Verily I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a fuckwit to enter into the kingdom of God.
So Jesus, you actually appreciate an enquiring mind? Could've fooled me what with the sheep following the Shepherd story you told.

Standing outside (Central Jhb), and abovementioned brand spanking new 4x4 double cab bakkie pulling one of these mobile billboards proclaiming:

JUDGMENT DAY 21 May 2011 and something about god never being wrong…

Whatever, new bakkie, new billboard, trawling Jhb city centre on a Monday morning… someone, somewhere, is going to have plenty bad debt mounting post 21 May…

find out who these morons are, and on the 22nd, offer to take over their assets at less than nothing, since they will be so fucked with credit.
better still.
on the 20th, ask them if you can have their house, car, daughter…

Maybe, just maybe, it all started on the East Rand this morning, with the 3.1 magnitude tremor.
Maybe just a little three-point-oner to get us all in the mood?
Whaddyathink?

All quiet on the West Rand…

Or in the Cape with a 4.3 tremor… >:D

Oh great, now we have to use an oxymoron: “It was revealed to me on SA skeptics”.

It is written: HIS day is like a year, and his year as a day… Jesus, your Dad never could tell time…

Sheesh, they even have a countdown going, like I said Daddy cannot keep time, but if he logs on he can check when he’s due…

http://www.may21-2011.com/

Don’t be rude about my stories now.

But yes. Only atheists get into heaven. Catch-22 at work, my child. If you believe in heaven and all the earthly religious crap, you are too stupid for the kingdom of heaven: if you don’t believe, you get there anyway. So it is written.

Gods, now they’re debunking religious mumbo-jumbo with astrology…

Camping has been preaching his message of doom on radio stations across the US about the beginning of Judgement Day (he says on May 21) and the rapture, in which Christians will be “taken up into the air to meet Christ” (he says on October 21) after five months of terror on Earth.

However, local astrologer Dion van Zyl says there is nothing to fear.

“I have been following global events from 2007 very closely and the world is not ending on May 21.

“We have horrible days once a month – and this coming weekend falls into that pattern. The economic recession and disaster in Japan occurred during this horrible-day period which happens (monthly).”

Van Zyl said this was happening because Uranus was in opposition to Saturn and the box-shaped alignment of these and two other planets.

“People should be prepared for things to go wrong, especially on Friday, May 20.”

facedesk

Its all Uranus’ fault…

Mummy, mummy why does my nose bleed every month?
Shut up, poesface!

I call this the “Zeitgeist tactic”, it goes like this:

“Everything you know is wrong, but here’s a new set of bullshit you can believe instead”

The raptured people are the chosen ones right? So when nothing happens on the 21st, does that mean nobody got the green light to go to heaven? Or will it be because someone saved mankind from disaster :confused:

So when nothing happens on the 21st, does that mean nobody got the green light to go to heaven? Or will it be because someone saved mankind from disaster

A likely answer comes from that Science Denial piece I posted a while back…

the Seekers, a small Chicago-area cult whose members thought they were communicating with aliens—including one, "Sananda," who they believed was the astral incarnation of Jesus Christ. The group was led by Dorothy Martin, a Dianetics devotee who transcribed the interstellar messages through automatic writing.

Through her, the aliens had given the precise date of an Earth-rending cataclysm: December 21, 1954. Some of Martin’s followers quit their jobs and sold their property, expecting to be rescued by a flying saucer when the continent split asunder and a new sea swallowed much of the United States. The disciples even went so far as to remove brassieres and rip zippers out of their trousers—the metal, they believed, would pose a danger on the spacecraft.

Festinger and his team were with the cult when the prophecy failed. First, the “boys upstairs” (as the aliens were sometimes called) did not show up and rescue the Seekers. Then December 21 arrived without incident. It was the moment Festinger had been waiting for: How would people so emotionally invested in a belief system react, now that it had been soundly refuted?

At first, the group struggled for an explanation. But then rationalization set in. A new message arrived, announcing that they’d all been spared at the last minute. Festinger summarized the extraterrestrials’ new pronouncement: “The little group, sitting all night long, had spread so much light that God had saved the world from destruction.” Their willingness to believe in the prophecy had saved Earth from the prophecy!

From that day forward, the Seekers, previously shy of the press and indifferent toward evangelizing, began to proselytize. “Their sense of urgency was enormous,” wrote Festinger. The devastation of all they had believed had made them even more certain of their beliefs.

I must admit, that’s a novel angle: If The Rapture fails to happen (as it surely will), Camping can then claim that his god spared us all at the last moment because he and his followers were so ardent in disseminating the message of imminent calamity and urgent repentance, and so Camping becomes the world’s saviour.

Neat-o.

Unfalsifiable assertion aside, it’s a glimpse of the contorted lengths these individuals are prepared to go to in order to avoid reality.

'Luthon64

I see that quite a few massive billboards are advertising the event. Those things don’t come cheap so what is their angle? Where and how do they make (or made) their money?

Selling products like Salvation™, Forgiveness™ and the ever-popular Eternal Life™ to a rather large market of uncritical dupes. These products are easy and cheap to manufacture (read: “fabricate”), requiring little in the way of raw materials or processing besides a grave intonation. Also, their operating costs and overheads are minimal — so minimal that they even use a plate for a cash register — and their business is tax exempt, so that virtually every cent they receive is pure profit. It’s then no great mystery that they can embark on such lavish marketing and advertising campaigns.

'Luthon64

Dunno if its the same lot, but one of my Mom’s friends son, a couple years back (10, 15?) sold up EVERYTHING, literally, and moved into his mom’s house with his family and handed every cent to the church. He is STILL living with his mom, although his wife and kids left him…

Sounds like he got sent to hell.