Why are these things mostly seen in far out places? Maybe the aliens are farmers themselves and avoid big towns and cities.
The topic of my Daily Maverick column this week: http://dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2011-09-28-who-did-et-really-call-woo-woo-fest-at-wits-might-have-the-answer
Good piece, Jacques — your ribbings of the UFOrics are reminiscent of the best of Martin Gardner’s in his Fads and Fallacies in the Name of Science.
Because the LGMs* are trying to avoid humans by probing anally a few of the more reclusive specimens in the hope that they won’t spill the beans. Since country-dwellers generally lead healthier lifestyles, they make better subjects for the intense study of human alimentary physiology.
'Luthon64
* LGM = Little Green Men. Or Grey, depending on the delicacy, depth and duration of the anal probing.
Thanks Mefiante. Glad some like it - one commenter sees it as proof that ‘my tiny mind is very closed’!
O God, this is awful. I’ve lost my mojo and completely forgotten what I was going to say. I’ll comment when I’ve remembered. Damn mad cow.
I don’t know about the size side of things, but you do seem a bit closed off to the vast money-making opportunity represented by “millions of fuckwits people in SA”. A fool and his money deserve to be soon parted. Open your head to the joys of capitalist exploitation - ask Pastor Ray how lekker it can be. C’mon Mefiante, concoct us some nice exotic names we can use on bottled tap water or repackaged Smarties. Maybe we could dress up some Hillbrow tarts as aliens for a little post-conference profiteering entertainment.
Okay, here goes…
- P3 (Pleiadian Proton Preparation) – Puts you positively light years ahead of those who don’t take it!
- Saucer-B-Gone – New lepton-enhanced formula will keep your house clear of those pesky, probing night-time intruders.
- Nip-Tune – This all-in-one energy booster will keep you going like a gas giant! Works especially well if you’re Japanese!
- Curie Powder – The hottest yet! Only the finest actinides are selected for our secret recipe. Any curry or stew made with our special powder will give you and your dinner guests a radiant glow!
- Ganny Mead – Lighter than lager! Sweeter than ale! A boson brew with space hops for the universal palate!
- Tachy Tonic – For those times when you need to get there before you’ve even left.
- Alpha Scentauri – First among perfumes. If you wear it, no one will ever dare be alien again. Guaranteed.
- Warpex Factor Five – The #1 fuel additive for all makes of interstellar drive. Shields and protects sensitive superconducting components. Recommended by Zaphod Beeblebrox.
- Betelgeusian Beetle Juice – For the prevention of Liverpool. Now available in new Lennon flavour!
- Heisenberg’s Drops – When you’re uncertain about what you want, even in principle, these tasty treats will help you regain your true measure and sharp focus.
Some shops that may wish to help sponsor the event…
- Max Plank – The biggest timber merchant ever. We cater for any quanta, no matter how wide the spectrum.
- Van Allen’s Belts – Saddler. Tannery. Fine leather goods. S&M trade enquiries welcome.
- Gravitational Lenses – For all your photographic and optical needs. We specialise in Schwarzschild radii, Riemannian manifolds and gauge fields, offering a continuum of space warp devices to the discerning foculist.
Not quite what you asked for, but feel free to extend at will.
'Luthon64
Problem with that one is you would have to give them money, thereby justifying their lunacy, to attempt to unjustify it >.<
Wow, just have a look at the utter lunacy that came about on Friday…
There's a battle for Earth by some interesting dark forces," said author, scientist and researcher Michael Tellinger, who organised the conference.“All the governments in the world are puppets and instruments to implement the will of a small group of individuals. The royal political bloodline goes back thousand of years.”
He said the royal political bloodline was a small group of families whose origins could be traced to the first of mankind and who were inevitably in contact with the aliens.
He said the South African government was one of the most important puppets of these extra-terrestrials.
This was because the country was rich in gold and diamonds.
"We are at the heart of this global control because of our mineral resources
and
Alien tech used to thin population - claim 2011-11-25 20:34Johannesburg - Alien technology is being used to thin the earth’s population, the great-granddaughter of former United States president Dwight Eisenhower claimed on Friday.
Laura Eisenhower was speaking on the sidelines of a UFO, science and consciousness conference in Johannesburg.
She said natural faults in the earth were being manipulated to produce catastrophes like tsunamis and earthquakes using Haarp technology or bio-weapons.
So hitting the 7 billion population mark is thinning out the earth’s population then?
An update on Tellinger (and this is just about as insane as his other stuff): http://mg.co.za/article/2012-03-16-court-sees-red-over-ufo-gurus-crusade/