What does Women find sexy?

The article is a bit tongue in the cheek but with a hint of truth to it.

I bought my sons up with a little saying “Sex starts in the kitchen” - they know by now that with a little bit of help in the house, the world is a much happier place.

Listen up, fellas: Naked man-parts? Not so sexy. Text Size Print E-mail Reprints By Monica Hesse, Thursday, June 2, 2:23 AMA general note for men:

We polled some women. Really, they would like to see . . .

“I would like a photo of a made bed,” says Kathryn Roberts, who works at a law firm in Washington. “I would take rose petals, but I want them on top of a made bed.” And not that fake kind of made, either, where the comforter is smooth but the sheets are a jumbled mess.

“Or laundry,” adds her friend Andrea Neurohr.

“Folded laundry,” elaborates Roberts. “Maybe in a wicker basket.”

Over the years, a handful of famous men — and a boatload full of unfamous, Craigslisty men — have landed in the news for sending women photos of their artfully framed packages. Brett Favre allegedly had a special delivery for Jenn Sterger, a sideline reporter for the New York Jets. Kanye West allegedly provided some of his female MySpace friends with some extra-friendly pictures. There are entire Web sites, aimed at men, teaching them the etiquette for public displays of private parts.

Men! Broaden your seduction techniques!

How about you move away from the below-the-waist close-up? How about you try going naked from the waist up? How about a picture of you, sweaty, cleaning out the storm drain? How about a photograph of you gently caressing the yogurt, as you rotate the soon-to-expire food to the front of the refrigerator? So sexy!

“The refrigerator,” says Gretchen LeMaistre. “That’s a big scenario.” LeMaistre is a San Francisco-based photographer who has worked on the “Porn for Women” series, tongue-in-cheek books purporting to tap into women’s most intimate pleasure zones. In the yet-unpublished “Porn for Working Women,” an attractive man cleans out the office fridge and asks, “Am I the only one who cares if we have a clean breakroom?”

Not all women like this, of course. This is the part where we call up an expert, who affirms that there is a great diversity in what women find arousing.

“There is a great diversity in what women find arousing,” says Marta Meana, a renowned psychologist who studies women’s sexual function at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas. She would never want to make blanket statements about what does or does not put wind in one’s sails.


“But,” she says, if you look at the empirical literature, it does indicate that the majority of women are not as aroused by pictures of” naked man-parts.

Cindy Meston directs the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a past president of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health. If there is something you want to know about what turns women on, she is the person you call.

“We spent six years of research on why women have sex,” Meston says. They compiled 237 reasons. Duty sex. Revenge sex. Pity sex. Bored sex, engaged in because women simply had nothing better to do. “Of the 237 reasons why women have sex,” Meston says, “not one was looking at a man’s genitals.”

Women, research increasingly shows, are nuanced sexual beings whose arousal depends on context, mood and a whole bunch of things they aren’t even aware of. Men are different. Men do tend to find the equivalent naked pictures of women titillating. When they send women photos of their genitalia, they are engaging in a sort of sexting golden rule: I think it’s hot, so you should, too. (If women also employed this rule, they would text pictures of themselves taking out the recycling.)

“I can picture liking a photo that’s a little private and romantic,” says Amy MacHarg of Arlington County. She could envision a photo of some massage oils, or perhaps a man sitting at a candle-lit table. He would be holding a pan. Because he had just cooked the meal.

Her friend Sara Monsef has a different dream. “I would like to see a photo of a man who has organized his books alphabetically and by genre,” she says.

Now that is kinky.

I love a man that makes eye contact and adresses me by name. I love my S/O in the kitchen (the man cooks well) The first thing I look at when meeting ANY man, is the shoes and the hands - both needs to be clean and kept.

What do you find sexy in your partner/potential partner etc?

a man with long (clean) hair makes me weak. it’s years of adolesence wasted watching Highlander.
a guy with rugged good looks, not a skinny bugger, or a muscle palace (eeuw). short clean nails, that includes toe-nails. and no snaggy hang-nails. a guy who knows what the hell body lotion is, and uses it.
i dont care much for cooking, but he must have ice-cream and good coffee in his kitchen. and be willing to get out of bed to bring me either.
a guy who can take advice, be it for work, DIY, relationship, car problems. coz, you know, sometimes, i simply just know better.
a guy who can keep up with fashion, but not be a slave to it.
a guy who is still a child at heart, can have fun, and take having fun poked at him. silly fun, like hugging giant teddybears in Reggies fun.
he must be able to stomach watching me eat sushi.
i love geeks and nerds. smart guys, humble but smart. enquiring guys. guys that can debate, think outside the box. be willing to learn and hear opinions that may or may not agree with their own.
a guy who treats his family with respect, but is not a mommy’s boy.
Fanboys, Trekkies, Philes.

Guys??? Where are you? What makes a woman attractive/sexy?

Hot blond demonstrating mastery of her custom Gentoo distro while updating the avionic software for the Gripen fighter.


I’m almost tempted to smite you… :confused:

Gods I’m bored today… :stuck_out_tongue:

You’re just thinking of Kelly McGillis in Top Gun. But I hear she’s not really into guys. :wink:

trololololololol ::slight_smile:

Gets ready to be blasted…

Since it’s mentioned twice now, I’ll admit I get some weird looks because of my nails. They’re kept (as in only filed, never cut, no snags), but only because my hobby is playing classical guitar… Which means short, almost non-existent nails on the left hand, and longer “pick like” nails on my right hand. The rounded shape of my fingertips creates a need to have more “overhang” on my RH nails than most classical players I’ve met, and hence it looks a bit… girly, and bizarre only being on one hand. It irritates me a lot, but I love playing so… you make your peace. HOWEVER, If it weren’t for guitar I’d just chow my nails down every now and then when they irritate me. Seriously, I don’t understand how any “manly” man (who does not have a good reason like “classical guitar” ::slight_smile: ) could give 2 shits about his nails. And it baffles me a bit… Like, do women find the “marlboro man” ruggedness thing sexy or not? Do you think cowboys spend time on their cuticles? Or are cowboys so 80’s and metro-man is in? What if metro man is a bit TOO metro?

And lastly… (and I suspect GCG knows the answer to this)… do you know, working on a car, how easy it is to DESTROY your nails? (Ask a dude like me who keeps his own cars AND plays guitar)

a guy who can keep up with fashion, but not be a slave to it.

Like, this is it, there always seems to be 2 answers in one sentence when asking this stuff. Fashionable but not really fashionable. Rugged but not REALLY rugged, metro but not too soft, emotional but still manly … it seems the womens like the middle ground in every aspect from where I stand. OR you guys have no idea and just “say” the middle in lieu of not really knowing. I don’t expect to have that answered in my lifetime, but it’s an observation.

Guys??? Where are you? What makes a woman attractive/sexy?

Well benguela gets close… This one time a chick said to me while standing in a server room (i fudge some details): “I don’t think I’ll upgrade to AGPx4 this year because next year the AGPx8 stuff is coming out and then I’ll have to get a new motherboard, RAM, and a new AGPx8 graphics card - I’m looking at the Geforce 4200Ti with 512MB DRAM - and I mean, If I’m doing that I might as well get a SATA harddrive … but then I need a new PSU too… so I’ll just wait till next year… but fuck on that [game’s name I forgot] is going to look awesome!”

I almost got down on one knee. Serious.

BUT there’s a difference for me between “hot” and “attractive”. A women can be “hot” and have the personality and brainpower of a rotting carcass. Like “If I could get her to shut up, I’d totally do her” = Hot. “Wow that chick is awesome, I want to wake up next to her”, is a different game altogether. I don’t think women have this distinction, I may be wrong.

on this forum? You should know better by now…

[quote="GCG post:2, topic:3739"] short clean nails, that includes toe-nails. and no snaggy hang-nails. [/quote] Since it's mentioned twice now, I'll admit I get some weird looks because of my nails.

If its clean and I’m aware of your passion (and since its a passion, you’d be speaking of it fairly early on in meeting a “potential”), I’d not care one way or another - my thing with clean nails comes from having a mechanic as an ex, who also chews his nails right down to the cuticles. Its the most disgusting thing ever and in the last four years of marriage the poor dude wasnt allowed to touch me…

Guys??? Where are you? What makes a woman attractive/sexy?

BUT there’s a difference for me between “hot” and “attractive”. A women can be “hot” and have the personality and brainpower of a rotting carcass. Like “If I could get her to shut up, I’d totally do her” = Hot. “Wow that chick is awesome, I want to wake up next to her”, is a different game altogether. I don’t think women have this distinction, I may be wrong.

You’re probably right, speaking only for myself here, I will look but the thought of taking home would not even pass my mind. I have no interest whatsoever in engaging with a man unless there is something substantial to the future for it. It took me 9 years to come across my S/O and he moved in within a week of meeting him (now three years later), but it was an instant meeting of minds and interests. (And he ticked all the mental tickboxes - lack of religion being one of them)

At my age the mental tick boxes looked something like this:

Need to have a secure job
Need to have a solid cv (I kid you not, I checked it for gaps and inconsistencies)
Need to have (afford) his own car
Have no children
Preferably an orphan (In laws are always a problem)
Atheist or convertable :wink:
No older than 3 years than I (didnt want an OLD man)
Preferably a non-drinker
Have the ability to THINK (some men just cannot)
Know how to use his brain (quite different from being able to think)

what makes a woman sexy/attractive?

methinks sexy is not the same as attractive:
sexy: Like Beyonce or Shakira or Madonna (I can dream can’t I?)
Attractive: Good build (not too skinny or overweight but a little extra is cool); healthy; honest; confident in herself; can communicate (that includes listening!); is compassionate; laughs easily and has a sense of humor; intelligent; and then when you get to know her (in the biblical sense!); likes eating well and can cook (I love cooking myself); neat without being a fanatic about it (good balance); and is genuinely interested in me and accepts me as I am.

i think it comes down to, buying whatever is fashionable at the time, but not going apeshit to wear ed hardy, because it’s fashionable now. have your own style, but not wear doc martins with a white kaasdoekhemp because you looked fine in it in 1998. and for the love of god, no polo necks. ever. ever. ever. not even gay boys look good in it. vom.
at some point, you realise what look you do best, then just adjust it to current fashion, and bob’s your auntie.
an overly-manicured bloke is creepy. if he has more hair/skin products than i do, i run like a fucker. i love the fact that my man can get out of the shower, pull his hands through his wet hair twice, and let it air-dry, and look rock-and-roll. if i tried that, i’d look like a drowned rat. why more blokes don’t have long hair, is beyond me, and a sin in my books.
my hands are more callused than my bloke’s cause i work in the garden like a mofo. he works on flash and photoshop like a mofo. such is life. i know more about cars and gardening than he does. he knows how to mix cement, i dont. it’s all very androgenous. and i love it. i cook better, but he swipes his credit card better. works out just fine ;D

why more blokes don't have long hair, is beyond me, and a sin in my books.

I can testify: I get lots of static from dudes about having long hair, it’s bad for your “guy foo”. I get called all kinds of “takhaar”, “Hey I thoughts you weres a girl hey, hee hee”, etc… By strangers and friends alike. I dunno, do you rate my curls GCG?

From girls I get mixed reactions, some like it, some say I look better with short. Majin likes it long, so it stays.

I used to be a fan of long hair on men years ago, but now I’m more into skinheads (unless long hair is dreds)- but I’m always interested in what conditioner long haired men use because their long hair is always more lusious than any woman. Bastards. But as soon as you start going thin on top you can’t hang on to a pony tail for too long… o no.

Definitely a guy’s personality, intelligence, manners and being a gentleman. The First date Boogie Monster opened the car door for me.

And eye contact is important: I can read a guy via his eyes.
Also I like his long hair :D.

Ooh yes, good manners, there’s an appeal in a guy that shows that extra little bit of respect. The ultra feminists can go jump in a lake for all I care, a bit of chivalry goes a hell of a long way in my book.

@ Boogie… I salute you, now I just hope you’re STILL open that car door for her!

@ Boogie. haven’t seen you in a while, and last time i checked you, it looked more like an overdue haircut. long hair on a dude is awesome, as long as it’s clean, and yes, if you are thinning, face it, and shave it off, or get it cut. i unfortunately, shy away dramatically from a dude that’s balding. have never dated a balding guy. ever. makes me think of my dad. my good mate nelson, he’s a porra, and shaves his pip clean. why? coz he’s going bald. and it totally works for him.
i hate okes for having awesome hair. and long luscious lashes. and great legs. not fair. sucks to have hair on your face though. then again, we bleed for no apparent reason, so sucks either way.

@ Boogie... I salute you, now I just hope you're STILL open that car door for her!

Quite often, especially if we’re out somewhere for dinner, etc. But nooo, it gets said like I only did it once! ;D

Well, think of it this way, it was that ONCE that counted, and what probably stole her heart! :wink:

Sexy? Tall, lean bloke in blue jeans and a beat-up T-shirt, fixing my car, with a spanner in one hand and kitten in the other. And, while whistling to Lacrimosa, is doing Laplace transforms in his head.

something which i would never have imagined to be hot, is a dude really enjoying his music on the dancefloor. now not lang-arm sokkie-sokkie, or rave bunny. but getting so lost in the music, that he forgets the rest of world even exists. the lyrics of the song totally applies to his life in that very moment, the artist is speaking words he would have never thought of, transforming wordless emotions into lyrics. and giving a toot who is watching.
more aptly, i used to be embarrased as hell watching my partners dance, i would cringe. now, i go to red room with my man, and often just end up watching him headbang and dance his little heart out. it’s really an amazing sight. no pretentions, no ego, just him and the music. beautifull.