Yearly disability declarations

Once a year staff can declare disabilities, a lot of benefits are associated to this, from medical fees being paid, to educational benefits for your children.

This year, the word leaked to the general staff that there are some really good benefits to being disabled and the list has grown tremendously.

Along with the declaration, you need to provide proof and medical certification to substantiate your claim, I’ve received some real gems:

I am physically disabled, I’m 1.4m tall, attached proof from my doctor
My one foot is a different size to the other, I have to buy two pairs of shoes at a time.
I lisp when I speak English (my xxxx (home language) is fine)
I have a misshapen earlobe, I can only wear one earring in the other ear
I forget words in English and have to revert to (home language) and then nobody understands me

The list goes on and on and I’m hysterical, by tomorrow I’ll be tired and annoyed, but right now, its downright funny!

I do love my job!

well, i have big ears, and it created drag when i walk. so it affects my speed at which i get stuff done.
allso, i have a big forehead, it gets cold easily, so i have to have specialsed haircuts done so that the hair covers it sufficiently to keep it warm.
i have small boobs. this is a disibility, since i cant charm my way into a promotion/time off/pay rise or out of shit.

I can’t work on account of my chronic dandruff, so I can’t feed my thirteen kids who I had to have on account of I’m allergic to rubber ever since I was bitten by a chameleon when I was six. Please help.

I’ve got bad eyesight, so I can’t see myself being able to do much this year.

I’m perfect. :’( Spare a thought for me.

I’m the world’s tallest midget. Ostracised by normal people and little-people alike.