I’ve been struggling with anger issues since childhood and was prone to physically attack the object of annoyance (be it human or otherwise). I’ve managed to stomp it under control (mostly) in my twenties after I had my kids (life in prison for murdering one’s kids didnt sit well with me) but now in my mid-life I’m becoming acutely aware of how I actually deal with my anger. Which is not very well.
I have zero tolerance with stupid people - stupid describing anyone that either dont think for themselves or trying to push a responsibility onto someone else, also emotional people that goes into a flap at the slightest perceived problem and proceeds to blow it up into an inconceivable mountain of emotional blah. I dont have patience anymore to sit down and pat someone’s hand telling them how to fix their bugger-ups when they have the mental capability of figuring it out for themselves.
My S/O suffers from similar issues and he’s known to break all sorts of unfortunate pieces of furniture and appliances in utter frustration and I generally leave him to it. (I dont mind, it means I’m getting new stuff)
Do you suffer from similar feelings and how do you deal with it, and how does your nearest and dearest deal with your deep-laying frustrations and anger?
I swear a lot, which gets it out of my system without doing physical or bodily harm. My S/O turns a deaf ear; she knows that the storm is soon over and the sun reappears…
Yes, I too get annoyed with people who refuse to use their god given intellect to embrace logical things like atheism.
But speaking of nearest and dearest …
At home I am not allowed to get angry anymore, because I end up throwing small, cheap things at walls. This sets off my better half as well, but she is less discriminating and I have unsuccessfully tried to dodge two flower vases in co-trajectory, a tube of wood glue, and a telescope. To me, it seems like nothing comes close to the rage induced by our own loved ones. Is that normal? I have no idea, but long ago we had agreed to an amicable divorce, should it come to that. So, after a major disagreement, we sulkily update the settlement documents. But by the time we are done we have fallen back in love. Silly, really. :
Can’t say I relate, so no advice here. I don’t get angry easy… grumpy, but seldom angry. When I do I usually just drop a cuss or two and generally feel more of a feeling of dismay than anger.
The couple of times me and the S/O have gone at each other I’ve always resolved to find a middle ground and sort it out before anyone can go to bed angry.
Well, first, they’ve had ample time to experiment and to find exactly which of your buttons to push, and second, it’s because they’re your nearest and dearest that you feel their button-pushing much more acutely than you would if it was a stranger.
A good loud rant followed by some alcohol usually sorts out my anger issues.
Seems like a confessional for atheists!
I mostly throw a short-tempered and normally a short-lived, tantrum at my wife but very seldom do I lose it with other people. The exceptions are those who are both ignorant and arrogant at the same time. I easily lose my cool with stupid, arrogant bureaucrats, gate keepers and stupid road users.
With my wife of 46 odd years??? she should know better than to pull my chain and she’s an expert at it. Example: Saturday is hot, I slept very little keeping away burglars the previous night: arise 4.45 to pack her truck with frozen ducks etc for the farmer’s market and drive up to set up her stall. When she arrives, I return to the brewery and start preparations to receive 10 visitors for a brewery tour at 11h00 and another 10 at 14h00: they depart at 16h00. I return to our home (20 mtrs away and knock for ten minutes on the locked door (the sun is scorching me). I eventually walk around the house to the front door at the back ( ;D) which I had to unlock, to find her watching a cooking program on TV, blissfully thinking I was inside the house… >:( >:( >:(
I expect that being harried, probed, weighed, tested and prodded from every angle over an extended period in a high-stress official environment in front of stern and attentive spectators would be a real button-pusher for most people. The thing to remember about trials, especially high-profile ones broadcast live, is that they are upwards of 80% theatre, the remainder being actual fact finding. Usually, much of the stuff examined during court proceedings is only tangentially or circumstantially relevant to the claimed/disputed facts, and is brought up by one side or the other in order to obfuscate or distract.
That said, where testimony of direct relevance is given by a witness in court, the role of the opposition (whether plaintiff or defence) is to attempt manipulating that witness into making contradictory, deleterious, biased and/or untrue declarations, thereby supposedly undermining the witness’ credibility. It’s a red herring factory angling for ad hominem fallacies.
