Christmas Cake Recipe

Dries’s Delicious Christmas Cake Recipe
1 cup water
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
4 Large eggs
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of sugar
lemon juice
1 bottle of Brandy
2 cups dried fruit

  1. Sample the brandy to check the quality.
  2. Take a large bowl, check the brandy again.
  3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink
  4. Repeat
  5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again
  7. At this point its best to make sure the brandy is still ok.
  8. Try another cup - just in case turn off the mixerer.
  9. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  10. Pick fruit off floor.
  11. Mix on the turner
  12. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver.
  13. Shample the brandy to check for tonsisticitity…
  14. Next sssiffft two cups of salt. Or something… Who giveshz a sh…
  15. Checka the brandy.
  16. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  17. Add one table
  18. Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
  19. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over…
  20. Don’t forget to beat off the turner
  21. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the brandy and kick the dog.
  22. Fall into bed.

Is it fine to substitute the brandy with red wine? I honestly dislike brandy with a passion, but wine… well, a good wine is like a good man, it fixes everything! :wink:

Of course ;D :smiley:

I’ve heard the neighbors make xmas cake like this, but usually it isn’t the dog that gets beaten…

The wife??