Coming out

I have now “came out” in my town, Middelburg, as an Atheist. I replayed to a letter in the local paper (the letter was about Christian symbols on display). My replay was supposed to be under “Ongelowige” but the editor printed my name. (You have to send in your name otherwise they will not print you letter). The editor will of course claim that it was a just a small mistake, not intended. Oops. >:(

So far I only had one call, nothing serious, but I am more worried what effect it is going to have on my wife’s businesses, my business and my son’s school career. Middelburg is a small town. I keep to myself, is not well known, I think and hope, but now that the loonies know my name my address can easily be traced and who knows what then…

Yeh, I know the feeling but do not feel you are in the wrong and that sheer ignorance should triumph…keep your head high and good luck. Maybe they won’t burn you at the stake! >:D

I’m sorry to hear about your misfortune, Tweefo. The editor had no right to publish your true identity and if you suffer financial loss as a result, you can sue him/her irrespective of whether his/her actions were deliberate or negligent. Let’s hope nothing serious comes from it, but there is that backup. Vasbyt!

This world is truly screwed up that one has to be concerned to voice an opinion :-[

Good luck to you, Tweefo. I hope this has no negative impact whatsoever for you and yours.

Middelburg… Small towns… eish.

Its tougher there than in the big cities, at least we can still fade into the masses.

Good luck, keep us up to date with incidents (if any).

Sterkte, Tweefo.


sue the newspaper. there are several people through whom that letter has gone, and it’s HIGHLY impropable that it was a mistake. sue the fucker.

In this letter I did not specifically say “Do not print my name”. I ended the letter with “Ongelowige” entered about 10 blank lines and only then put my name and address in. I thought it was obvious, why “ongelowige” if I wanted my name printed as well? But I think they will be able to wriggle out. I also learned (the hard way) to have as little as possible contact with lawyers. “Skelm, skelemer, prokureer”. So far only the one call, so we hope for the best and relay on short attention spans. And since it is out there - Ernst.

Suing might not succeed, it’s expensive, highly stressful and could have the opposite effect to what’s aimed for. It’s a tricky situation. Discussion with a lawyer or two might prove fruitful. For example, if the newspaper has somewhere pledged in writing that it won’t disclose letter writers’ particulars, then you have a strong case for claiming some compensation.

ETA: This is a redundant reply, given Tweefo’s prior one. :confused:


I’d say it was obvious.

So far only the one call, so we hope for the best and relay on short attention spans.
Do elaborate :D Did you get a word or two in edge wise?

i write to newspapers often, and if you dont provide an alias, they wont print it, and if they wanted to use my name, they contacted me first to hear if i’m okay with that. or they would just use ‘Miss Horn’. it’s bollocks, and i think, it deserves at least a phonecall to the editor, to hear what his story is.
in a similar vein, it seems our newspapers are just getting worse with being believeable.
a few weeks ago, my s/o was involved in that stupid Dr Uba controversy, he hosted the site, and that was it. Suddenly, the newspapers all claimed that he was the brainchild, and claiming that they had had interviews with him, while he had been avoiding all contact with media. so the front page news was fabricated.
allso, i saw yesterday in some or other newspaper, they had a frontpage story, claiming ‘satanic killing’. while in the actual article, there was a mention of ‘she wore black sometimes’ and ‘the police hasnt ruled out satanic involvement’. how the hell did our reputeable newspapers become sensationalist smut? how can one believe anything they report on anymore?
i can understand if Die Son waffles on about the tokkelosh, one would expect it from them.

So far only the one call, so we hope for the best and relay on short attention spans.
Do elaborate :D Did you get a word or two in edge wise? [/quote] Just an old Tannie, one of my Mom's friends, and the usual "Have you got no morals?". I replayed "I do not need a book to tell me what to do, I know myself not to rape, murder and steal". It just went down from there.

The flip side of that bit of stupidity is that it implies they only behave morally because of their fear for some cosmic daddy’s wrath. How admirable. ::slight_smile:

ETA: what flows from this, is that either morals are from God or not. And if one can be moral without God, what use is he/she/it? (And it is easy to demonstrate that morals are not from God - much easier that they are in fact from God - one has the mountain to climb to actually prove the being’s existence in the first place!)

Furthermore, if one can be moral without God, and yet be sent to an eternal torture for simply not accepting whiffle as fact, this directly indicates that God is immoral.

So you didn’t so much come out as having been outed . :stuck_out_tongue: :wink: Still, I recon that if you were truly obsessive about your atheism remaining a secret you would not have written your letter in the first place.

Nah, Tweefo, ten out of ten. To heck with inching towards that critical mass. Think how many cracks you’ve opened for other like minded individuals in your town. Well, you probably cannot know for sure, but there ought to be some.

All the best.


PS: Have you posted your letter somewhere on this forum?

And on the other side, people will proudly and fearlessly pen their names below letters to the editors of even major magazines, while offering nothing more substantial than Bible verses as motivation for their particular viewpoint on anything ranging from cricket to parking meters.

Religion blesses with instant pedigree :wink: Strange old world. ::slight_smile:


this is my take on how religion works:

I smell a rat. And it’s name is Editor.

Methinks Mr. Editor kindly noticed your alias and plonked your full name in there as a personal act of vengeance for being an obvious godless sodomite that must be punished.

I base this on wild accusation and fanciful inaccurate postulation alone, but that’s what it feels like to me. It’s not like they don’t do this every day… nah, methinks this was an “Oops I just copied this guys full name into my paper, what EVER have I done, well, good thing he didn’t specifically request it not be published. RUN IT!”

I feel for you dude. This would’ve ruined my life in many bad ways. I’d have to face relatives and please-explain why they were the last to know. Eish. Sad fucked-up situation, I can relate, or at least, I can imagine what that must feel like.

To heck with inching towards that critical mass

We all do what we think is best.

Quite. I suppose my relatively gung-ho attitude towards coming out is as a result of a (too?) heavy guage skin, a growing number of friends that walked this path even before I did, and a loyal family well bespeckled with black sheep specializing in diverse and colourful disciplines. But I do appreciate that everyone’s circumstances are not similarly straightforward. So while “get it over with pronto” generally works well in my life, I fully realize that anywhere else its mere “opinion”. And you know what they say about opinions :-X.


I received a replay in this week’s paper from a pastoor nogal.
What is a good come back to “Die dwaas sê in sy hart, daar is geen God nie”?

“Ek stem saam, die dwaas sê in sy hart daar is geen God nie. Die wyse en sorgende denker sê dit vir die wêreld.”
“Die dwaas sê dalk in sy hart daar is geen God nie, maar die oplettende denker beskou die wêreld en besef dat selfs na 2,300 jaar daar nog nooit ’n voldoende antwoord op [url=]Epicurus se paradoks[/url] gegee is nie.”