If men could menstruate...

The original is on www.mum.org which is the official website of the Museum of Menstruation. Bwahahahahahahah
If Men Could Menstruate, by Gloria Steinem

A white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking that a white skin makes people superior - even though the only thing it really does is make the more subject to ultraviolet rays and to wrinkles. Male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis envy is “natural” to women - though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb envy at least as logical.
In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.
What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?
The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event:
Men would brag about how long and how much.
Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.
Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.
Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali’s Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields - “For Those Light Bachelor Days,” and Robert “Baretta” Blake Maxi-Pads.)
Military men, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation (“men-struation”) as proof that only men could serve in the Army (“you have to give blood to take blood”), occupy political office (“can women be aggressive without that steadfast cycle governed by the planet Mars?”), be priest and ministers (“how could a woman give her blood for our sins?”) or rabbis (“without the monthly loss of impurities, women remain unclean”).
Male radicals, left-wing politicians, mystics, however, would insist that women are equal, just different, and that any woman could enter their ranks if she were willing to self-inflict a major wound every month (“you MUST give blood for the revolution”), recognize the preeminence of menstrual issues, or subordinate her selfness to all men in their Cycle of Enlightenment. Street guys would brag (“I’m a three pad man”) or answer praise from a buddy (“Man, you lookin’ good!”) by giving fives and saying, “Yeah, man, I’m on the rag!” TV shows would treat the subject at length. (“Happy Days”: Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still “The Fonz,” though he has missed two periods in a row.) So would newspapers. (SHARK SCARE THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN. JUDGE CITES MONTHLY STRESS IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And movies. (Newman and Redford in “Blood Brothers”!)
Men would convince women that intercourse was more pleasurable at “that time of the month.” Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself - though probably only because they needed a good menstruating man.
Of course, male intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguments. How could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics, or measurement, for instance, without that in-built gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets - and thus for measuring anything at all? In the rarefied fields of philosophy and religion, could women compensate for missing the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death-and-resurrection every month?
Liberal males in every field would try to be kind: the fact that “these people” have no gift for measuring life or connecting to the universe, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.
And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine traditional women agreeing to all arguments with a staunch and smiling masochism. (“The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month”: Phyllis Schlafly. “Your husband’s blood is as sacred as that of Jesus - and so sexy, too!”: Marabel Morgan.) Reformers and Queen Bees would try to imitate men, and pretend to have a monthly cycle. All feminists would explain endlessly that men, too, needed to be liberated from the false idea of Martian aggressiveness, just as women needed to escape the bonds of menses envy. Radical feminist would add that the oppression of the nonmenstrual was the pattern for all other oppressions (“Vampires were our first freedom fighters!”) Cultural feminists would develop a bloodless imagery in art and literature. Socialist feminists would insist that only under capitalism would men be able to monopolize menstrual blood . . . .
In fact, if men could menstruate, the power justifications could probably go on forever.
If we let them.

Do you think they would have crucified Jesus if he was menstruating? Pontius Pilate’s washing of hands may have had a very different connotation! ;D

Maybe they’d need time-outs at the UN so that crying dignitaries could be comforted; this is because the gentleman from Iran behaves like “a big meany”.

If this monthly ritual is viewed merely as the periodical rejection of unused reproductive matter, then I contend that men could also menstruate. We just spell it a bit differently.


If men were the ones who gave birth, I wonder if there would be any “Pro Life” organisations. Perhaps there would be, but they would be illegal and have to operate covertly…

I’m sure it would be pretty clear to everyone that the father’s rights weighed more than the fetus’s.

Sure. Both humans would agree.

Would that be Adam and Steve?

I am laughing so hard here I’m glad my chair has arms to prevent me from falling. Only one thing thaough… men are real whimps when it comes to pain and sickness. I bet you they would all be home in a dark room with the wife running up and down for their every need and want.

I can just about imagine it…

I can just imagine the mess… None of the men in my life and experience can handle the sight of blood… and honestly speaking, its all rather disgusting.

Adam: Thanks God for Eve. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you would love her.
Adam: Okay. But why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you, my son.

Heheh. Is this why so many intelligent women are single?

How did you know I was single?

It’s not surprising; after all, you’re so bright, you have to wear a lampshade for a hat. >:D

Maybe I’m trying to let my little light shine…

What about the intelligent men? My brother is so bright his father calls him son (sun)

Heheh. I didn’t. But does being single necessarily mean you are intelligent? ;D

Is this why Lillith was banned from Eden? She was INTELLIGENT??? :frowning:

Changing the clothes upon completion of the menses *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: [url=http://www.fatwa-online.com]www.fatwa-online.com[/url], thankyou!* Question: Is a menstruating woman required to change her clothing after she has [completed her menses and] purified herself, keeping in mind that no blood or impurity has fallen on her clothing?

Response: She is not required to do so. This is because the menses do not make the body impure, rather the blood of the menses makes impure whatever it touches; Because of this, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu 'alaye wa sallam) ordered the women whose clothing had any [menses] blood on them to wash them and [then] pray in them. [Transmitted by al-Bukhaaree - 227, and Muslim - 110].

This does not give any indication what Muslim men should do. Considering that men are inclined to be messy, I would suggest washing the clothes, especially after prolonged menstruation. As for praying - if you’re male and have been menstruating, I suspect Allah might be a bit peeved with you, so keep it short.

I suspect that if men could menstruate, the religious prescriptions around menstruation would be much more lax and accommodating. Perhaps the occurrence of the menses would even be viewed as a cause for celebration and menstrual blood taken to be a holy blessing.

Remember that we have patriarchs of old, at worst misogynistic and at best merely patronising ones, to thank for what religions have to say about the matter. If men could menstruate, there’s little doubt that the affair would, as a matter of self-interest, be treated far more charitably in religious canons.