Prof. Wango

This is going to blow your mind! My wife picked up this brochure somewhere near Cresta this week. This person is making unbelievable claims! At first I had a good laugh at the list of the conditions “treated”. All of them are of course ridiculous and there are some fun ones - “To be liked at work”, “Lack of strength in the body”, “One with bad luck”, “Madness” and “Insanity”! He apparently can also make the law work in your favour - “Court Cases”. Not sure why you would want this but first on this list is that he can give you a case of priapism. :wink:

Besides the fact that his claims are all ludicrous and some are even laughable, what really gets to me is that he charges for his time. I know that in the area where his office is located it is relatively densely populated with low income households who can’t afford to be throwing away that kind of money.

The frightening thing is that there are more serious conditions he claims to treat, which could potentially be life-threatening, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, diahrroea, gonorrhea, vomiting all the time, and tuberculosis! I wonder if a complaint to the Department of Health or the Health Professions Council would help. In the process of doing this post I found that there is a AHPCSA (I guess someone needs to control the nonsense, but to set up a specific statutory body to do that?!)

Here in Middelburg are some of these as well. The one call himself “Dr” something and another is “Professor” something. Is it not illegal to put “Dr” in front of your name if you are not one? If not, it should be because if somebody needs a doctor in a hurry there is no time to look at his graduation certificate.

A few in the list are funny though.

The frightening thing is that there are more serious conditions he claims to treat, which could potentially be life-threatening, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, diahrroea, gonorrhea, vomiting all the time, and tuberculosis!

Yeah, and this is KEY, or keys: First, you are selling woo woo to those with serious conditions, and second, you are flogging it to the very people who can’t afford it.


I have thought many times about how I could write a book/program (because I do have some letters behind my name, which means I know all, and all should believe me, right?) and flog them to that demographic, but I don’t think I could look at myself in the mirror knowing that I have basically scammed the food out of a poor child’s mouth.

Well, if the good Professor can deliver the goods on promise number 1, you may find that 3,8 and 11 could follow.


I also got a similar brochure a while back. All I could do was shake my head and laugh.

Presumably these people are selling muti, I just wonder sometimes how this kind of suspicion can be unlearnt. Only way I know of is science education, which is always a problem. Hell, first world countries struggle to get into their kid’s heads.

I picked up a similar brochure from “Prof Mamba” in Midrand last week. It is just a new way of advertising old tricks and yes, it is muti. But keep in mind that the most reputable herbalists (isangoma/isanusi etc) are embedded in their communities, well known and usually only get paid after successful treatment. They rely partly on on their background information on patient and social conditions, some genuine herbal craft knowledge, religion and suggestion to treat patients. If you believe, you will be cured. Yes, yes, we know where that one goes…!

Of course you do get the cr#p artists, but generally people who visit them are just about as informed ::slight_smile: as the average person is about Western diet & herbal and other supplements. Great entertainment may be found at your local Dischem supplement section over weekends ;D

Actually, what you’ve picked up is a cue sheet for a new reality show. The cue sheet outlines the following plot (the numbers relate back to the point-form cues):

Without a big tool[1], you’ll have bad luck[2] and not be able to regain lost love[3] because of confusion[4] and financial hardship[5]. Splutter and cough[6] as you might, the long arm of the law[7] will catch up with any shady business of yours and you will have few patrons[8]. Even insulin won’t hide your sugaring up[9] to the judge or magistrate, whose hypertension[10] will be your undoing instead of furthering your career[11], even though you might have a high school diploma or even some university degrees[12]. Your possessions at home, at your place of work and even your vehicle will be at risk of theft[13], and work colleagues will look at you with suspicion[14], making you feel as weak[15] as when you’ve just learned that you’ve contracted a STD[16]. Your wife will be infertile[17], all the while appearing to have morning sickness[18] even though she hasn’t conceived at all[19]. So, you’ll have to brace yourself for almost constant slackness[20] and you’ll have many troubles[21] that may lead to mental illness[22] and a feeling of being cursed[23] – so much so that you’ll suspect being fed a constant diet of prunes[24], a suspicion that’ll drive you nuts[27] and make you feel perpetually bloated[28].

25 & 26 are missing. The show’s producer deemed them too provocative.


Excellent try, good Sir!

But seriously, MUTI 101:

2-5, 7, 8, 11 - 14, 21 & 23: treated with a shrewd take on psychology, a touch of magic & some herbs or an amulet, especially in the case of no. 13
1, 17, 19, 20, 24: treated with herbs. A little stronger magic (i.e. more expensive, almost certainly an amulet, perhaps something to bury under a bed)
6, 9, 10, 15, 16, 18: treated with herbs and lots of magic (i.e. costly and invariably involving a cleansing, physical or otherwise). If treatment unsuccessful, same as 22, 23, 27.
22, 23, 27: If the practitioner is a slightly ethical being, he would send the patient to a Western doctor, after a vociferous declaration that the patient is so cursed that the practitioner cannot do anything for him. Various government medical departments have been training these practitioners sporadically for 15 years to spot serious disease and to turn patients over to Western medicine as quickly as they can disentangle themselves. Significant sums may or may not change hands.

Perhaps 25 & 26 healed spontaneously?

Uhm, thank you, I think if that was directed at me and my ho-hum sillyness. Though if you wish such formality, which is hardly called for, then “Ma’am” would be more fitting. :wink:


That was a generalised “messing about” phrase - did not mean to offend.
Sorry, sister!

No worries. Like I said: :wink: To which I now add ;D .


'Luthon! I’ve been over this in my mind. You’ll appreciate this:

“But… you think like a man!..” :o

Hmm, thanks again — I think! I suppose that might have a lot to do with being the second youngest of four, three of them brothers. They always treated me as they did one another, but still there’s a chicken-or-egg question lurking in there somewhere. I know that some people – from both sides of the gender line – find me hard to handle. My “woo-woo nut” propensities give the game away… :wink:


Finally, someone is taking action against these slimy charlatans!

The Junior Doctors’ Association of SA and SA Medical Association are calling for all of them to be taken care of.