-
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was –
–Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. -
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, –
–but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . -
She was only a whisky maker, –
–but he loved her still. -
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class –
–because it was a weapon of math disruption. -
The butcher backed into the meat grinder –
–and got a little behind in his work. -
No matter how much you push the envelope, –
–it’ll still be stationery. -
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road –
–and was cited for littering. -
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France –
–would result in Linoleum Blownapart. -
Two silk worms had a race. –
–They ended up in a tie. -
Time flies like an arrow. –
–Fruit flies like a banana. -
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. –
–The police are looking into it. -
Atheism –
–is a non-prophet organization. -
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. –
–One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’ -
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.–
– Then, it hit me. -
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, –
–‘Keep off the Grass.’ -
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.–
– His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’ -
A chicken crossing the road –
–is poultry in motion. -
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison –
–was a small medium at large. -
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray –
–is now a seasoned veteran. -
A backward poet –
–writes inverse. -
In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. –
–In feudalism, it’s your count that votes. -
When cannibals ate a missionary, –
–they got a taste of religion. -
Don’t join dangerous cults: –
–Practice safe sects ! -
One shooting star to another: “Pleased to meteor”
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Do trees access the internet by loggin on?
Nice!