Secular Marriages Outlast Christian Ones

Here. A word of caution: The main causal factor is probably a combination of age, wealth, education and social status, while religiosity is an attendant symptom, rather than a cause of higher divorce rates.


Methinks the explanation is so much simpler. It’s psychological, see. Females basically resent having to share their worshipers with competing deities. In a secular relationship, any such weird love triangles are eliminated. :smiley:


Another point to ponder is that in religious marriages women are required to be the subordinate, secular relationships tend to have a more balanced viewpoint on the word “partnership” which makes a big difference in how the female in the marriage sees herself and the role she plays.

Most women in long term marriages with kiddies get utterly fed up with being the dog in the relationship, having to be mommy, sex goddess and have a full time job on top of that and the poor bloke in the relationship are usually quite gobsmacked when she packs her stuff and leaves.

I’m of-course comparing my first (religious) marriage to my second (secular) relationship and there is a stark difference in how I’m treated now. My ex is by no means a bad man, but he expected me to do as I’m told and I was exhausted for most of the 9 years I spent with him, now I can rely on my man to pick up the slack without asking and without him being annoyed with me because he needs to cook his own supper…

While we’re wildly speculating (and ya know I love me som’ wild specumalation sooon): My observation is that xtian couples are trying much harder to fit the fairytale mould.

  1. They meet “the one” - digression: they believe in “the one” to begin with, which I think is also central to the problem - and have this nicely planned-out set of steps they must complete in order to cement “the one” as “the one”. This is not about anyone’s wants or needs, it’s about walking a path, come hell or high water.

  2. They’re pressured to commit quicker than they should. Wanna have sex? Well you really shouldn’t before you get married. Moving IN together? But, you’re not married! YOU SLEPT WHERE?!

Heck, even skeptics have to burden under (2) - I submit as proof posts from my facebook wall by fellow skeptics. Except you can’t access them, because they’re private. IMHO The difference is we don’t care, or at least, care much less.

  1. Comes somewhat from my thoughts about polyamourism a while ago: Less jealousy. I know I speak for myself, but I think as a skeptic I’m far less likely to think that since I’m attracted to person Y I should immediately dump S/O X, since this clearly means they’re not “the one”. I’m also far less likely to judge S/O X for liking person Z, because I realise it’s just natural and it does not mean they no longer love me.

  2. In fact, I’m far less likely to be judgemental about pretty much anything. “Oh you like girls too… awesome”. “You don’t agree with me about something? well I can see your point”. “Oooh now that does sound kinky”. None of that “YOU THINK GAYS DON’T GO TO HELL??! WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?!” stuff can develop.

  3. And, as Faerie says, I’m also much more likely to do the dishes, share chores equally, and so on.