Sin causes acne

i came upon this little gem of a forum quite randomly, and i am completely, and wholeheartedly, sitting my my jaw on my desk.

As I grew older, I grew wiser, and I started just recently becoming a full Christian like yourselves. Also as I grew older, my acne started to get milder, and just recently after I joined God's favourite website my acne has almost completely cleared up. A strange coincidence, don't you think?

(wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!) (wtf!!)

Well, it is scientifically proven that masturbation causes acne. That is why teenagers are often so pockmark-riddled. No doubt you masturbated a lot (among other sins), which caused God to smite you with pimples. Let your testimony shine forth and be a beacon of hope to anyone who wants to achieve clear skin. Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline

well freck me

And we must point out just how serious masturbation is. Since it is done without another person of the opposite sex present, masturbation is automatically homosexual sex. This is a clear abomination in the sight of the Lord.

excuse me while i pick my jaw off from the floor

i think i need to go find a suicide sect, and a plane, and a big building. full of pimply christians.

this site surely is a joke. no human being can be incredibly stupid!!

it is a huge hoax. i had allmost lost hope for humankind there for a second. okay, now its friggin hilarious.

as I grew older, my acne started to get milder

The sound of the entire internet screaming “DUH!”

i think i need to go find a suicide sect, and a plane, and a big building. full of pimply christians.

I think you mean clear-skinned christians, the pimply ones sound semi-decent. In the very least, they don’t suffer near as much sexual frustration.

Well, if it makes you feel better, check out Rapture Ready, you’re sure to find tons of similar stupidity on that site… and it’s for real:

This whole notion that sin causes acne - not so far fetched.

Even a slight glance at Mrs Mintaka’s moist and sinfully rich chocolate and caramel cake almost always leaves me with skin about as smooth as the Mercurial surface.


Crumbs, isn’t doing it with chocolate and caramel cake rather messy?

Hehe! parody it might be, but damn, do as Boogie say and go have a stroll through Rapture Ready if you want not just a few facedesk episodes. FSTDT also provide plenty of fodder for redicule.

(it does get tiring and depressing if you stay too long though, so mind caution in the face of idiocy.)

That will depend on whether it’s a layer-cake and how you slice it… >:D


P.S. I think we’d better stop now before someone declares a pun jihad on us.

OK I am really scared now… (wtf!!)
Went to take a look just for curiosity’s sake, but seriously people… are these quotes from real people?

Quote# 76370 Not all Muslims are terrorists but ALL terrorists are Muslims!
Quote# 76335 [Re. censorship in Islamic nations.] I’ll tell you, I just came back from the Middle East, and it was refreshing. With all that is going on, it was refreshing not to be constantly bombarded with smut all the time.
Quote# 76237 I am a young white female and I am very uneasy around niggers, especially the males.
I couldn't keep reading after that

Yep… Scary if you stop to think about it, especially if you think in terms of bibles and guns, every single one of them would not hesitate to kill in the name of their chosen god.

ROFL, this is funny. IOW I am sinfree having never had acne.! :smiley:

I once spoke to a guy who also claimed that they fart out demons


If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord! Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child: 2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. 7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. 8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. 14-Complains of boredom.
I happen to like music, what the hell should be printed on my T-shirts? pictures of jesus? Define eccentric? Most of the most woo-people I know are very 'eccentric'. And if I had to constantly engage in 'wholesome activities' like the bible, church, prayer and sports, I would also be bored. The list goes to 37, and apparently if your child displays 5 of these 'symptoms' you should be worried. The best one was:
35-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Since when is philosophy a religious cult?

Hehe, Land Over Baptist church is a notorious and very funny Poe. Unfortunately, it’s not that dissimilar from the real thing

Wow, found this on FSTDT:

I believe that only Christianity should be our religion and the only one allowed and I an not one. Original freedom of religion only meant sects of Christianity.

How’s that for interpretation?

Entirely par for the course – the no-hole/every-hole/half-hole fundie course, that is.