The true purpose of swearing...

Apparantly its a great stress relief mechanism, I swear like a trooper when under pressure at work, and the swear-bottle (shared with my cubicle neighbour), usually produce around R300 in R5 coins every month (lunch money). At home I never swear (kids), unless I carve a finger off with the electric carving knive - but even the kids forgive me for that type of swearing.

How often do you swear, what drives you to do so and do you have a favourite swear word?

It depends how stressed/angry I am, although I have cut down a lot since my grandson started talking. I swear like a sailor in traffic - when he’s not with me.As much as I do swear, there are certain words I won’t use at all.

I did make a mistake once when I dropped a large bottle of olive oil that shattered and messed all over the kitchen floor, to which I let out a loud “f*ck it”. My grandson wanted to know why I farked it, thinking quickly I said I was shouting at Lord Farquart in Shrek, his favourite movie at the time. He told his parents that Lord Farquart had broken my bottle and that I shouted at him, needless to say they knew exactly what I had said. :-[

Served time in high school in a hostel and did National Service immediately after. Joined Die Mag (then Diens now Mag again ::)) and served for 8 years.

As one would imagine, profanity is a way of life for me…

The wife is working on me with some success and hopefully when the little cyghost joins us in a month I can tone it off completely. We’ll have to see as it is fairly ingrained for me.

Sometimes there just ISN’T a nice way of expressing your feelings! What can I say, take me as I am or leave alone! I’m really not going to keep my feelings bubbled up inside, just because the people next to me are being hypocrites who hates swearing but don’t think twice before stealing his companies time by doing his personal stuff during working hours/put in a day’s sick leave just because they over slept/or got divorced several times because he can’t keep his hands off other men’s wife’s!

My kids don’t swear in front of me, but I also don’t think they are innocent little angles, because I’ve overheard many little “angles” and believe me…
I am usually very diplomatic and most definitely won’t swear at you unless you’ve almost caused an accident right in front of me or driving like your azz.
My biggest sin is: F**ing hell ::slight_smile:

Not a hell of a lot, but I have a few favourites that I apply under certain conditions:

Anger - moer (esp. as personal pronoun)
Disillusionment - bollox
Startled - Jezus
Amazement - fokkit, ne!
General annoyance - crap
Disbelief - … shiiiiiiit …

But I get sweared at a lot more often ::slight_smile:



In that case my list would have been muuuuch longer than yours ;D

You dish out, you must handle … :wink:

Anyways, I would rather get rid of my emotions in that way, than signing up for a “9/11 Or taking out an Abortion Doc” task!

Applied in appropriate circumstances, swearing relieves momentary stress since its most significant benefit is letting others know, without any equivocation, to watch the fk out because you’re f*ing displeased.


Almost exactly ditto: 10 years boarding school (single sex) followed by national service, followed by 8 years merchant navy after which my vocabulary was almost exclusively unprintable. When I worked in the UK the poor dears couldn’t take it and complained to management. I do try to render discourse less blue these days, but sometimes one just forgets.

I am, alas, well equipped with colourfull profanities, and blasphemies.
I have tried to stay away from god if i can, coz its silly to curse when i dont believe in said deity, so i try instead, bob, dog, thor, zeus,…
so it will go, ‘oh for bob’s sake…’
it seems, these days, that using hardcore insults is just not as cool anymore. since, most of the time you get insulting is online, and your boss and/or mum can read it. so insults are usually the like of douchebag, asshat, …
new insults include, fuckwit, fucktart, …
asshat is still a fav of mine at the moment.
and, of course fucking anything that fucking pisses me off, gets attached with a fucking fuck. just gives it more oomph.
in my office, we are very liberal with our swearing. our boss wants to make us tshirts that say ‘float like a butterfly, sting like a poesklap’. jou ma se… i rarely use in all seriousness.
my most savoury swearing, is done in my moedertaal.
poepol, drol, fokken moroon, moerskont,
and my absolute faverite. d005. or boks, if you want to be pc.
and ja, in traffic, i let rip. often, i swear louder than i realise, coz im listening to my ipod, window open, and i get looks.

o ja, moederfokker. or futhermucker. lol.
wow, now that i think about it, im one foulmouthed woman. fokkit.

My favourite is: go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, doos. I have no idea what an “asshat” is. Does it actually exist? And I have only the vaguest idea of feminine hygeine to which I suspect a douchebag is in some mysterious way connected.

At home my current favourite is “For crying in a bucket” - which are utilised for anything from the kid spilling paint on the car to the cat spraying on an electrical outlet.

I used the word “crap” quite often when the kids were little, and got a phone call one afternoon from the religious ex wanting to discuss the youngest’s “swearing”. After much prompting of what word the child is using, he simply said: “The “C” word” - which confused me greatly, because the word “cunt” did never feature at home at all and I’ve never heard him utter it. I eventually got him so far as to pronounce the word, and it was “crap” - my reaction: “AW CRAP BUTCH, its the same as POOP!”

I remain not popular with the ex…

Bwhahahahahahahaa!!! I love it! hehehehe

'float like a butterfly, sting like a poesklap'

I’m so putting that on a T shirt ;D

go take a flying freck at a rolling donut, doos.


I swear, mostly at my clients when I see a email that comes in, or when something just doesn’t make sense.

Mostly, fok, en fokken.
Sometimes just “jou ma se…”, that one doesn’t really work when it’s my brother that it’s directed at.
And then, for fucks sakes, Jimmy. I don’t know where I got that, but it’s just a lekker way to express the way I feel sometimes. And sometimes it comes out as a Scottish accent. Not a very good accent, but still.

I’ve toned it down since school, trying to not swear so much when I’m with other people.

Pff, lightweights. There’s no language like Klingon for swearing in.

A well-timed and properly pronounced “Qu’vatlh!” goes a lot further than “ag vok!”.

IMO, the ultimate swearword has to be “KAK”. You can use it in any context:

Jy gaan Kak as ek jou in die hande kry
Jy maak Kak droog
Hier kom Kak
Jy praat Kak

I love the word!

Owen, you HAVE to do a podcast and teach us some basic Klingon - swearwords first, like we learn in any other language. >:D ;D

I know that some people consider solitary drinking problematic - but swearing in isolation? Is there even a name for this utterly pointless condition? ;D


“jirretjie jissis” works for me. Though there are not many places where you can say it without offending people. Social graces, unfortunately, has me not using this phrase as often as I’d like.
“foktog” is a favourite of my sister’s, along with “doospoes” which she uses frequently in traffic. Yes, she does have anger issues and should seek professional help. :-X

Good idea :slight_smile:

I had a regular slot on late-night 5fm once that was supposed to be turned into a podcast. It didn’t last long cos of copyright issues with Paramount, and I wasn’t allowed to do swear-words. I’ll look into it :slight_smile: