Our neighbour to the back of our property complained about smoke from our chimney during the winter of 2012. We didnt utilise the fireplace for the rest of that particular winter. During the winter of 2013 we used the fireplace twice and about a week later she arrived with a posse of Metro Police officers and loudly proclaimed that she would have us arrested and would sue us for her health problems (she’s asthmatic). We consulted an attorney who drew up a compromise letter where we will only utilise antracite in our fireplace, she refused to agree to the compromise. We did not utilise our fireplace again, however, we are now also not able to freely use our backyard braai as this is also an issue to her. We have good relations with all the other neighbours and all were willing to provide a statement that our fireplace and braai does not constitute a nuisance to them at all.
Last night we had a Estate agent knocking on our door stating that our neighbour sent her as she (the neighbour) said that we would like to sell our home…
This of-course led to us sitting in our garden thinking up vengeful retaliation - from throwing HTH on their lawn, having a 3 ton truck full of pig manure delivered on their front stoep and getting Whackhead to phone them.
What would you like to do to people when they finally manage to piss you off on a grand scale (aside from going the legal upstanding law abiding citizen route which we are…)
Get a few tubes of liquid superglue and squeeze their contents into all of her Yale-type keyholes, including padlocks, while she’s away. Then amuse yourselves as she tries to get back into her house…
Or you can clone her number plate, mount it on the back of your car and take a lengthy drive around the e-toll highways after the 3rd of December.
A powdered mixture of iron-oxide (rust) and aluminium. Has a very high ignition point (so you have to light it with a blowtorch, etc), but it burns so hot it’ll melt through an engine block in seconds [1].
Anyhows, my saga continues, on Friday night we received a final written warning from the council to stop burning our garden refuse in the middle of the night. The night in question was last Thursday in the middle of that huge thunderstorm that hit Gauteng…