Tomorrow is the dreaded year end function. The only time of the year that you are forced to actually be civil in a “social” environment with your colleagues. And, as usual, some dim-witted extrovert decided that a theme for the function is in order. We were instructed to dress up as our all time favourite “rock star”. Gods, its never original either. I’d rather go as the big bang than a “rock star”. Anyway, so I decided to go as Janis Joplin. I fill in the required form and state my chosen “star”. I got an email back from the chicky in charge asking me to choose a more recent star as she had to go google to find out who Janis Joplin is, and that she doesnt qualify as a rock star…
I was gobsmacked. I responded that I will go as Janis or they can go stuff my attendance in a dark bodily orifice of their choice.
I do so hate these things. Anybody got some interesting year end function stories to relate?
Well, you often hear it said that Mozart was the rock star of his time, so go in a powdered wig.
At the school where I work, the kids are at work on rehearsals for a nativity play, and their academic work be damned. You can imagine my boredom and frustration.
I don’t know whether I should stoically accept that there is madness all round, or whether I should try to find me a remote island somewhere.
Hey, I just had an idea. Charles Lyell was a rock star, not? Now THAT one will really stump them.
Year end functions suck …period. As MD of about 120 staff I was obliged to do these too. My biggest red-faced moment was one year in my annual speech of thank you’s and well done’s I would offer a joke or two…shit I forgot the puchline…I stood there totally blank, said so and laughed at myself much to every one’s amusement.
It could have been worse Brian … at least the audience did not know the punchline either.
What comedians need is an universal punch line: an emergency ending that will suitably augment any half forgotten joke. So if the tail part of a joke slips the mind at an awkward time, one can quickly and seamlessly weave the universal punchline into place. Such a universal punchline must also be instantly forgettable to ensure that it remains funny in future.
…and then they psychologist said to me, you can’t have Alzheimers, because if you did you would be changing the subject in the middle of things, without even realising it.
Pull that one off with a straight face, and you can get out of anything.
I’ve actually never been to a year-end function of any kind. Last year the place where I work just had a few beers etc, because there was a little bit of bad blood between some people.
This year we’re going to the boss’s girlfriend’s father’s farm somewhere in Limpopo and the plan is to, well, get sloshed. At least there shall be no themes or anything. There would have been paintball but not enough people have paintball guns of their own.
AND it’s going to be literally at year’s end; we’ll be spending new year’s eve there, over the three days that we’re going. Camping and braaivleis and booze.
First (and only) time I was invited to a few rounds of paintball I’d no idea how the game worked. I thought you were supposed to shoot at paint balls. So I took one of my more serious air rifles along. No one would let me play.
