Tomorrow is the dreaded year end function. The only time of the year that you are forced to actually be civil in a “social” environment with your colleagues. And, as usual, some dim-witted extrovert decided that a theme for the function is in order. We were instructed to dress up as our all time favourite “rock star”. Gods, its never original either. I’d rather go as the big bang than a “rock star”. Anyway, so I decided to go as Janis Joplin. I fill in the required form and state my chosen “star”. I got an email back from the chicky in charge asking me to choose a more recent star as she had to go google to find out who Janis Joplin is, and that she doesnt qualify as a rock star…
I was gobsmacked. I responded that I will go as Janis or they can go stuff my attendance in a dark bodily orifice of their choice.
I do so hate these things. Anybody got some interesting year end function stories to relate?
Year end functions suck …period. As MD of about 120 staff I was obliged to do these too. My biggest red-faced moment was one year in my annual speech of thank you’s and well done’s I would offer a joke or two…shit I forgot the puchline…I stood there totally blank, said so and laughed at myself much to every one’s amusement.
It could have been worse Brian … at least the audience did not know the punchline either.
What comedians need is an universal punch line: an emergency ending that will suitably augment any half forgotten joke. So if the tail part of a joke slips the mind at an awkward time, one can quickly and seamlessly weave the universal punchline into place. Such a universal punchline must also be instantly forgettable to ensure that it remains funny in future.
I’ve actually never been to a year-end function of any kind. Last year the place where I work just had a few beers etc, because there was a little bit of bad blood between some people.
This year we’re going to the boss’s girlfriend’s father’s farm somewhere in Limpopo and the plan is to, well, get sloshed. At least there shall be no themes or anything. There would have been paintball but not enough people have paintball guns of their own.
AND it’s going to be literally at year’s end; we’ll be spending new year’s eve there, over the three days that we’re going. Camping and braaivleis and booze.
First (and only) time I was invited to a few rounds of paintball I’d no idea how the game worked. I thought you were supposed to shoot at paint balls. So I took one of my more serious air rifles along. No one would let me play.