So I was at a funeral

Yes so I was at a funeral the other day. And I sat though the Methodist service,
I have to admit that if I have to choose to go to a church service I prefer the Methodist
because it is the closest to what i grew up with, the Evangelical happy clappy churches freak me out, but that is besides the point.

I was wondering what every body else does when you find your self in that situation, I drift off a lot of the time and study the architecture
of building, and you?

I decline anything that involves sitting in a church. With funerals, I offer to manage the catering or babysit the babies. Weddings I’ll send a gift if I like you enough and wait until you come back from honeymoon and visit you at home and go ooh! at the ring.

I’m too old to waste time spending hours of my life studying architecture whilst sitting on a hard bench and having to get up, sit down, bow my head and whatever ritual that is demanded during that time.

I listen but I get really irritated. Then I try to divert my own attention by whipping out my cellphone, studying the architecture, etc… but invariably this fails to work and yet another time someone talks about how Uncle Bob is “happy now and in a better place” and I’m irritated all over again…

I go to funerals, weddings, etc. because they are important life events I share with friends/family. It’s not like funerals are a barrel of laughs to begin with… My lack of religion / irritation is the least of problems.

Yeah, tricky dealing with that :slight_smile: I also just take the route of going through the motions, being supportive of others is the key for me, but I tend to get all passive aggressive on such days, in between the mourning and sadness. When I die it’s disgusting to know that my corpse will also most likely end up in church, luckily I won’t be around then…

I so have to update my will to put in what I want when I die, which would be no church ceremony.

I know what you mean and at firt thought that would also be my response to a question/statement like that, till you realise that your funeral isn’t really about you at all, it’s really about those who you leave behind, if they are non-religious too, they might let go of the doG stuff, but more likely than not, the majority of your loved ones are probably religious and for them stuff like that is an important crutch and coping mechanism.

As I said, what they do with my corpse is their business, as long as G-Daddy stays out things like weddings and the way I raise my children.

The decision whether or not to attend a funeral and it’s concomitant church service is, as far as I’m concerned, largely dependent on the caterers. After all, you get rainbow sandwiches AND rainbow sandwiches.


When (are we at “if” yet?) I die, I do not want a religious funeral.

Yes funerals are for those left but it is also for honoring their memory of me and recognizing my existence and my life, what ever it was.

If they hold a religiuos funeral for me, they are taking a big fat dump on my life and all I held dear and all I stood for. You know what, if they thought so little of me and my life to do that to me, then fuck them.

Strong words, but most of us here have placed skeptism pretty high in our lives, for some of us, it is our life, to have that shat on, at the end …

From weddings to funerals…

Anyway, an aunt of mine passed away a few weeks ago, and her daughter arranged a church funeral with all the frills the same day for a couple days later, a tad later that day, she got a phone call from the wills administrator (whom she notified earlier that day) who told her that she wanted no service, no get-together and that she is to be cremated the same day she died. Well, that threw a spanner in the works (but she was a difficult old bat), and the daughter ran around like a headless chicken trying to find a place to have it done. She managed, apparently wills and last wishes are taken quite seriously.

As Vulcan mentioned though, it is about those that are left behind, and my Dad in particular is taking it very hard, he wanted a moment to “say goodbuy” but has been denied the opportunity. I suggested a family braai where everybody brings along their old photo albums, and we can do a nostalgic memory lane themed “party”.

My youngest daughter (see foto), and I discussed my funeral a while ago and as she’s agnostic, decided that they’ll have a big bash, drink a couple of rounds on the ‘old man’ cremate me and scatter my ashes on the sea; and I’ll smile upon them from the heavens…

Hmmm… Some very interesting thoughts on this thread. Tbh I never seriously thought about my funeral. I was thinking mine would involve cryogenic freezing, an ice crusher and a confetti cannon at a rock concert… My friends would love the idea, but I’m worried about the de-frosting bit… But jokes aside, I think my farewell should be a celebration of my life, which is unfortunately not something I can trust my family with. Perhaps putting this husk I call home to good use might be a better option? Perhaps donate my body to research on whatever ends up kiling me, and donating the still useful organs to those who need a second chance? I’m sure my friends and loved ones can celebrate my life without trying to fire my remains into space.

So my number came up as well! Two weeks ago I accepted the role as guardian (not too fond of the term godfather, as it always brings to my mind images of wet cotton balls and guys called Four Finger Tony)of a lovely and brand new baby girl.

The timing was, unfortunately, such that I’m half expected to attend the Christening this coming Sunday. Please keep me in your prayers … I have absolutely NOTHING to wear. Also, I’ll be sure to report back if I burst into flames in the pews… although this may turn into a welcome distraction.


Argh, those are just the worst. I think the last time I was in a church was almost ten years ago at a Christening of an acquaintance’s baby. It was even more boring and depressing than a wedding or funeral. Good luck.

Popped into the NG Kerk in Franschhoek on Bastille Day to get out of the rain. Very hospitable–even allowed the dog in. He was on his best behaviour on account of being in the house of the lord.

So… you’re about to make a sincere vow to the skyfairy to oversee the upbriniging of said unfortunate child in the ways of the lord, you’re to ensure that the parents thoroughly indoctrinate the offspring and do not stray from the straight and narrow.

Good luck… ;D

Thanks for all the well wishes, folks. :slight_smile:

As far as I can recall, it’s (hopefully) only the parents that do the promising. I’m certainly not partaking in any rituals, and for the exact reason that you state above. Both parents know that I’m an atheist.

The reason I’ve decided to attend is because I take an interest in the child, not because I approve of the Christening. Similarly, if she gets sick, I will visit her in hospital, without approving of the illness.

But yes, this is one of those unfortunate grey areas where the net gain in happiness seems to outweigh my personal urge to be right. It’s not a perfect world. Yet.



‘n Peetouer is die Sielsgenoot van die Dopeling – ‘n persoon wat veral die geestelike reis met die Dopeling aflê. Hierdie is ‘n lewenslange verbintenis. Die Peetouer dien as rolmodel, as geestelike begeleier, as geloofsgetuie, in die lewe van die Dopeling.
‘n Peetouer moet oor ‘n liefdevolle, behulpsame, gasvrye, vriendelike, begrypende, toeganklike persoonlikheid beskik. ‘n Peetouer moet ten alle daar wees vir sy/haar Dopeling.
‘n Peetouer moet ‘n rolmodel wees in sy/haar Kerklike lewe – voorbeeld van ‘n lewende, aktiewe lidmaat van sy/haar parogie, betrokke by die Sending van die Kerk.

Actually interesting, if you’re interested in the actual promises, go looky here:

I also came across this:

Omdat die doop nou in die plek van die besnydenis gekom het, daarom moet die kinders as erfgename van die ryk van God en van sy verbond gedoop word (Kolossense 2:11-12). En die ouers is verplig om hulle kinders terwyl hulle opgroei, hieromtrent breedvoeriger te onderrig (Psalm 78:3-4; Efesiërs 6:4).

I didnt know that… :confused:

Anyway, congratulations, I’ve always had loads of fun with my godchildren, and must admit to leading them astray on a couple occassions… >:D

Re Bylae A : Wow - how irritatingly yet unsurprisingly presumptuous to be this prescriptive! It’s almost as if they believe their notions are enforceable. Seems that I will be a bad, bad guardian on several counts. >:(

I found an interestingly weird little quirk in the link you posted. They first state that

En hoewel ons kinders hierdie dinge nie verstaan nie, mag hulle nogtans nie daarom van die doop uitgesluit word nie

But then:

As diegene wat in hulle jeug (deur nalatigheid of deur dwaling van hulle ouers) nie gedoop is nie, tot hulle jare van begrip gekom het en begeer om die Christelike doop te ontvang, moet hulle eers goed in die grondslae van die Christelike godsdiens onderrig word

Strange that a helpless baby should automatically qualify to be babtised, but informed adults don’t!


It’s easier to indoctrinate babies, of adults they are more weary.

Are you saying that adult inductees may have a bigger chance of turning rogue once they are in the folds of the church … loose canons* if you will?


*intended :stuck_out_tongue: