You can put a boat on your head like a hat if you flip it over: It’s cap sized.
If A is for Apple, and B is for Banana, what is C for?
A plastic explosive.
A cowbow was annoyed with his drunken partner who decided to relieve himself in his brand new Stetson. But they finally decided to bury the hatshit.
[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they’ll tell me Vikings didn’t wear horns.[/spoiler]
Or that Napoleon was of average height…
Or that before Columbus, everyone believed the earth was flat.
kill me now
I have so many composer jokes, I’ll make you a Liszt!
Why couldn’t the spring quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
He was baroque.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
Middle C, A flat, and G walk into a bar. The barman says:
“I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors”.
What did Schwarzenegger say when the roles where handed out for an upcoming movie about famous composers?
“I’ll be Bach.”
There is now coronavirus videos on pornhub. Sick fucks.
He’d be even thinner if he had his contents removed as well. 
My girlfriend gave me an STD, looks like I’m gonorrhea-valuate our relationship.
My family is really worried about grandpa’s viagra addiction. Grandma is taking it especially hard.
Eventually all the countries had Coronavirus, but China got it right off the bat.
When I open the fridge I always knock first. There may be a salad dressing.
‘I failed my history of art course on aboriginal music.’
‘Oh no! Didja redo it?’
You seem to be a limitless fount of the deliciously groan-worthy. 
He’d admit it, but he wouldn’t want to blow his own horn.